Commentary

MATT: Oh, hello everybody. Today we’re going to be doing Apple, because there’s no bingo card, because Apple tried to bury this event by not telling anyone about it.

WINWARD: Yeah, Apple didn’t even feel the need to put this on their website.

JOHN: …along with stunning new designs.

MATT: Stunning new designs! What? You mean the designs that don’t include a touch bar?

WINWARD: The stunning new design that is literally the identical chassis that they had last time. Do you feel like we were kind of just dropped into the middle of an Apple event?

MATT: Yeah, it’s like, where’s Tim Cook?

WINWARD: I feel like this was supposed to be part of one of the other events, and then they just kind of cut it.

MATT: No! It’s the Watch event! Remember?

WINWARD: Oh yeah! Yeah!

MATT: The Watch event, where they had to insert Jeff in everywhere? They’re in the same building! They had to have included this in the same event!

WINWARD: We should go back to that event, and we should find the cuts, and see if we could figure out exactly where this was supposed to be.

MATT: No, this 100% had to have been when they were talking about the Watch, and then they flip it on its head and say, now we’re gonna talk about the M2.

DEIDRE: Now back to Jeff.

WINWARD: Maybe this is why Apple didn’t announce the event, because they’re kind of embarrassed about it, but they’re like, so we have all of this extra footage lying around. Can we just put it on the YouTube channel? Okay, yeah, go ahead.

MATT: No, it’s the iPad event from the end of last year, that they completely buried, and it’s six minutes long, and the only thing of value from that event is DaVinci Resolve showing up on iPad, and then that one lady saying we moved the camera from here to here, and that’s it! That’s all we have! And then there’s this, and it’s Apple. You expect me to call 25 minutes of extra video an event?

ERIN: Here’s Tim.

MATT: Tim?

WINWARD: Tim?

MATT: Tim?

WINWARD: Which Tim?

WINWARD: Nope.

MATT: Scam! Scam! That wasn’t Tim!

WINWARD: It is A Tim. It’s not THE Tim.

TIM: Introducing M2 Pro.

WINWARD: Wow! At least they stuck to a consistent naming scheme. Congratulations, Apple. You stuck to a consistent naming scheme.

MATT: Did you see the blur of the background of that room back there? Like, what’s the point of that?

WINWARD: I feel like he might be in front of a green screen, but I can’t tell.

TIM: …over M1 Pro.

MATT: Wait, so they said it’s 50% faster.

TIM: Twice what M2 delivers.

MATT: But it’s also only 20% faster. What are these numbers?

WINWARD: It’s 50% faster in some places.

ERIN: Today, we’re introducing Mac Mini with M2 Pro.

MATT: I love how they cut when he threw it, so you can’t see if he missed or not.

WINWARD: Hey, look, you can do Mac stuff on a Mac. Dang.

MATT: Ooh.

WINWARD: That’s, that’s enticing.

MATT: The laptop is so hot, she has to use a pillow. I’m just kidding, guys. Anyone who’s used an Apple computer knows that’s not true.

WINWARD: Wait, what? A real transition?

MATT: What do you mean? They’ve been doing real transitions the whole time.

LAURA: …80% faster than the fastest Intel-based MacBook Pro.

MATT: Oh, you know a computer that’s literally 3-4 years old?

WINWARD: This is just, don’t mention that.

LAURA: Back to Tim to tell you more.

MATT: Tim? Tim? Oh, I think that’s Tim.

WINWARD: Tim?

MATT: It’s the other Tim.

WINWARD: Do you have deja vu going through this?

MATT: Yeah, this is like the same thing, but with a different computer model.

WINWARD: It’s like the same exact graphs and same exact speech, except with bigger numbers.

TIM: So that’s M2 Max.

MATT: Wow, that was what they literally had nothing to add because they just reiterated everything they just said. This is like such a nothing burger.

WINWARD: I know.

MATT: Why? Why did you do this, Apple?

WINWARD: By the way, it’s still an SDXC port and not like the upgraded port that most people are asking for. Wow, it’s almost like it’s exactly the same laptop as the laptop they had before.

KARL: That’s impossible versus possible.

MATT: What? Impossible versus possible? What does that even mean? Are they ending? Is it over?

JOHN: …of innovation.

WINWARD: Tremendous.

MATT: Do you want to be innovative? You show us Tim Cook. Nope. No Tim Cook!

WINWARD: Show us one of the people we care about.

MATT: No Tim Cook, no Craig Federighi.

Closing Thoughts

All right, so what was your favorite part?

WINWARD: They sure as well had an event. What they actually said during the event, I think I’ve forgotten by now. The Mac Mini, I think, is a wonderful thing because having lots of power in a desktop computer that is cheap for people is a good thing.

MATT: I agree with you. I think the Mac Mini is my pick of the event.

WINWARD: But realistically, if you’re a student and you’re like, okay, I’m going to go buy a Mac or something and you want to get a Mac Mini, I would talk you out of a Mac Mini and talk you into a laptop because let’s be honest, you’re a student. You need a laptop.

MATT: Then $2,000 on the other one, please.

WINWARD: Or even like $1,000 on a baseline M1. I mean, it’s not like the M1 laptop is bad.

WINWARD: Yeah, because you get portability. MATT: In some ways, you can argue it’s better than the M2 because of faster SSD speeds too. Let’s let the conspiracy theories fly because I didn’t know about this until you told me. And I have like RSS feeds like stalking everything about Apple. And I heard nothing about this event at all.

WINWARD: I did not hear about this event until it showed up in my YouTube feed. Clearly Apple had an event and they seeded units beforehand to the YouTubers that they liked. And then they released this event so that those YouTubers could then release their videos talking about how good they are.

MARQUES BROWNLEE: This little machine is not only super powerful and super efficient and super small, but it’s also a really good price.

M2 Pro Mac Mini Review: Game Changer!, Marques Brownlee

BRIAN TONG: It’s just for this review and I will sadly give it right back to Apple. Now as a content creator…

M2 Max MacBook Pro Review - Real World Tests! Should You Upgrade?, Brian Tong

WINWARD: and they could subvert all of the other channels that they don’t like all that much from making videos that are critical of their announcement. They also didn’t put it on their website. So maybe they didn’t intend for this to be a big thing, but it kind of turned into more of it because they were kind of trying to hide it.

MATT: Yeah, I don’t know how I feel about this. And like what you said earlier, it’s like it feels like they just strung together portions from the last event. Like they could have recorded this during the last event for all we know.

WINWARD: The other thing is I think years ago… Did Apple have events announcing it’s like oh we’re using the new Intel processor. Yay. No, no they just they just released a computer with a new processor.

MATT: I said it last year I’ll say it again. Apple’s events are slowly getting worse. This event and the iPad event are just like little stepping stones on that road of progression. We already know from rumors that they’re not going to talk about the AR headset this year because they just can’t get it completed by the end of this year. It’s not a true Apple event. Like there’s no Craig Federighi. There’s no Tim Cook. There’s no like fancy introduction. Like they kind of just like just did like a fake commercial and just leapt right into it.

WINWARD: It was like and now everyone expects events from them all the time. And so they’re kind of like sort of doing them but not really putting the effort into it.

MATT: Here’s another theory. Okay. What if they’re trying to lower people’s expectations?

WINWARD: I believe you.

MATT: I know hear me out here.

WINWARD: I believe you.

MATT: They are trying they should hit it out of the park in 2020 with their events. Like anyone go back and watch their 2020 Apple events were like amazing. Like you looked at like every other tech event from that year and like Apple’s were like the glowing beacon of hope between like every other tech event being completely bad. Apple is trying to reduce people’s expectations. Hear me out on this one. They want to do live events again. And this is the way to ease people into doing live events again. Nice to have seen you for a video. No bingo this time. I’m sorry.

Outro

But leave a like on this video. Leave a like on this video if you felt scammed when that fake Tim showed up in the event. And by the way, next week is Samsung.

WINWARD: It’s at least a real event. Like they announced it and stuff. So so we expect something from them.

MATT: Thank you for watching. See you all later. Have a great rest of your week.

WINWARD: Bye bye.

Khaim - Neon Lamp

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