Samsung fully surrenders to Google’s iron grip on Android, announcing AI features to steal your data, allowing Google to run a long ad, a silent return to the Exynos chipset, cringe content creator cameos, and a ring they don’t know what to do with.
Bonus Content
Takeaways
- Samsung can in real time translate your voice to 1/17 different languages, but it’s unclear how well this works outside a simulated demo. It also requires a Samsung account and an internet connection.
- Samsung can now translate your RCS/SMS messages, but it requires an internet connection, a Samsung account/phone, and your privacy violated.
- The Samsung Notes app now allows you to use AI to pretend you have better handwriting and organize your bad notes into bullet points. Just give Samsung your data in exchange.
- Samsung now provides 7 years of updates, because they ditched Qualcomm and returned to developing the Exynos chip with Google.
- Samsung now implements Google’s proprietary Quick Share, now fully integrated in the Windows Photos app. RIP Apple and Linux users.
- Google Assistant now gains the ability to circle objects and search them using the power of AI, Google Lens, and data harvesting.
- Samsung Photos now uses AI tools similar to Google Photos, except there’s a watermark in the bottom left corner so you know it was tampered with by an AI. Until you crop it out and strip out the added metadata that is…
- Samsung copies Apple, implementing (probably fake) titanium into their phones.
- Samsung unveils plans for a smart ring, but has nothing to show for it despite the hype.
Note: This is a “replay,” which is Samsung-speak for “We edited out the glaring livestream mistakes in YouTube Studio, which is only available to creators with 2M+ subscribers. I watch only the unedited recording with no subtitles.
Referenced
- Edward Bernays’ Crystallizing Public Opinion
- Shadi from Yu-Gi-Oh! First Series, Episode 5
- OpenAI warns copyright crackdown could doom ChatGPT, James Titcomb and James Warrington, the Telegraph
- Samsung’s Knox is fundamentally broken - Tel Aviv University
- Samsung bricks your cameras if you unlock the bootloader
- IDOLiSH7 LIVE in 2019, song is Negai wa Shine On The Sea (願いはShine On The Sea), performed by TRIGGER
- Taylor Swift Using Facial Recognition Technology at Concerts, Steve Knopper | Rolling Stones Magazine
- ARXIV: Data Security on Mobile Devices: Current State of the Art, Open Problems, and Proposed Solutions
- WikiMedia Commons’ high quality scans of various works of art from Musée du Louvre (French)
- The song that plays for the video view count and Pokimane is Toy Boy by Cyndi Seui
- File:Interframe motion interpolation.webm - Wikipedia
- Samsung’s god awful privacy policy makes Apple’s look heavenly
- The Dragonslayer Armor boss from Dark Souls III
- The YouTube channel DogPack404, consisting of MrBeast employees decrying his brutal working conditions.